Basically it’s the final draft. The rough draft was due yesterday so the second

Basically it’s the final draft. The rough draft was due yesterday so the second have will be due on the 6th.
My instructor graded and left me this feedback:
This is wonderful writing. Your sentences are professional yet energetic and personable too. Your opening and closing lines are fantastic (I appreciate the pun at the end too!). This is what I’m looking for with this assignment. You’ve got all the pieces you need to finish strong with this paper. You’re providing with a good overview of Etzioni’s argument, and you’re clearly and confidently stating your perspective on his argument. Also, your formatting/APA is great! I have some revision suggestions. You don’t have to do all of these suggestions, but please consider them. I’ve numbered those suggestions. [1] I’d come up with a new title that addresses the focus/topic of your discussion. [2] Your summary is great. One major change, though. You often cite Charner and Fraser. However, Etzioni is the article’s author, though one of his sources is research that was conducted by Charner and Fraser. For example, the quote (awesome quote by the way) you use in the opening paragraph was written by Etzioni. I’d revisit Etzioni’s essay to clarify who and what you’re citing. Also, when re-reading his essay, be on the lookout for any additional details or quotable lines that you’d like to bring into your paper for discussion. Though, regardless, your summary of Etzioni’s essay will always be shorter than his actual essay, so all summaries leave out details that may feel important. [3] I’d like you to focus most of your revision efforts on your response to the Etzioni’s essay. You have some insightful ideas to expand upon here. You might go into more detail about the benefits of working a job while being a teenager. Also, in the conclusion, you seem to offer a potential compromise. Specifically, you seem to suggest that teens should work but that certain needs and requirements might need to be met in order to ensure that the job is helping the teen, not hurting them in some way. You might explore that more. Also, you might consider the date of Etzioni’s essay–1986. I was just a toddler then! What’s it like reading a 1986 essay on this topic in 2023? Have things changed? Stayed the same? Last thing–you’re welcome to share a story about yourself or someone you know who worked as a teenager. That story doesn’t have to be about a fast food job per se. If you do that, be sure to tell us the story in enough detail so we know what happened, and be sure to explain to us how that story relates to your reaction to Etzioni’s essay. But again, great job so far. Impressive! I’m happy to give you more feedback on this paper or to clarify anything I’ve written. I’m also happy to look at another draft before you submit the final revision for a grade.
Here are the initial instructions for this paper:
Final Draft should include the following:
Introduction that does 3 things:
Gains readers’ interest.
Introduces readers to the focus of your discussion [you might choose to introduce your test too, or wait until the next paragraph].
Provides a thesis statement [can be more than one sentence long].
An accurate summary of your closed research theme text.
A meaningful response, supported with evidence, to your closed research theme text.
A concluding paragraph.
Revisions made based on the feedback you received from your instructor on the Half Draft (See the Grades link or consult your instructor for this feedback).
APA in-text citations. Uses tips from They Say/I Say textbook to introduce and discuss other authors’ words and ideas.
APA References page at the end of your paper. Includes a full citation of your text [and any other sources].
Evidence that you’ve read through the paper to edit for clarity. Read your paper out loud.
Minimum of 750 words for the final draft.
See the assessment rubric in the assignment page “M03 Writing Project 1 Summary and Response: Final Draft” for an understanding of how the final draft will be graded